5 Ways To Encourage Your Pastor’s Wife

DSCF1091Image by farmerdrew1 via Flickr
My wife, Shilo Schank

Behind every good pastor, there is a pastor’s wife! There to stand, often in the shadows, behind her best friend, confidante, lover, and preacher. While many times accolades are given to her husband, she quietly cheers him on; often without visibility to others. Every pastor’s wife needs encouragement!

Listed below are just 5 suggestions as to how this can be accomplished. You can add your own to it, but, by all means, employ what you know in service of Jesus Christ. Feel free to leave suggestions in the comment section at the conclusion of this article.

#1 – Always Acknowledge Her When She Is In The Presence Of Her Husband

Many times people come up and speak with the pastor and never say as much as a, “Hello!” to his wife… and she is in plain view! By making eye contact and acknowledging her in word will go a long ways. This practice will help her feel like she is involved and not forgotten.

#2 – Be Positive And Always Compliment Her Children When Appropriate

The way to a mother’s heart is through her children. If your pastor and wife has children, young or old, then compliment them meaningfully and periodically. This shows that you care and appreciate them AND their children.

#3 – Seek Ways To Help Her Perform Her Responsibilities

The pastor’s wife wears many hats like her husband. There is much to be done at home and church. If the ladies of the church would seek to help in whatever capacity they can, then this would serve to alleviate the pastor’s wife of undue stress.

#4 – Take Her Shopping

I have not met a lady yet that didn’t like to go shopping. Pastor’s wives are no exception! Many times they will go without or settle for second and third best so as to do for others. The church family should make up for that! One way is by taking her shopping on the church’s dime!

#5 – Organize A “Pastor’s Wife Appreciation Day” At Church

Many congregations will have a Pastor’s Appreciation Day and never have one for his wife. She is not a fifth wheel! She is his helpmeet! If possible, there should be an all out commitment for a Pastor’s Wife Appreciation Day to take place from time to time. Pull out all the stops, and make it big. She will smile and appreciate what you do!

So…

These are just a few ideas that one could take and run with to encourage their pastor’s wife. When she is not happy, your pastor is not. Encourage him by encouraging her!

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When Was The Last Time You Did Something To Encourage Your Pastor’s Wife?

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Measures 15.5″ x 12.5″. Light oak finish frame. Neutral mat. A pastor is a faithful friend/Who has his Father’s flock to tend./He cares for us through trying days,/Retrieves the lamb who sometimes strays./He brings us loving words from God,/Of Moses’ feats with Aaron’s rod,/Of Daniel in the lion’s den,/Of godly women and their men./From parables the Master taught/To understanding what Paul thought./He speaks to us of God’s dear Son,/Of unity, so we’ll be one./When sick or sad he’s always there/To comfort, guide and offer prayer./He’s tender, caring, meek and kind;/The Spirit’s in his heart and mind. And She’s like a fresh and lovely rose/That angels planted, then God chose./He gave her soft and gentle ways/To help us through our trying days./She walks with us through pain and loss/And lives the meaning of the cross./She always thinks of others first/And loves us when we’re at our worst./She has such kind and gentle ways/And builds us up with words of praise./Her tears and prayers and long hours spent/Have helped so many to repent./A confidant with whom to share,/A partner when it comes to prayer,/Two blessings in a Christian’s life/Are pastor and his faithful wife.

Tips For Pastors Who Have Children

It is very difficult to grow up in any home under any set of circumstances, but especially in a preacher’s home. These children live in a “glass house”, are often the victim of people expressing their misgivings of their father, to the extent of rudeness, in front of them, and they simply are held to an unreasonable standard. Not one of these young people ever asked to be brought up in a minister’s home. While being raised in a pastor’s home or on a mission field someplace can be rather difficult, they were chosen of God to do so. What should be viewed as an honor, is often overshadowed by the selfishly, sinful acts of others.

The following tips are primarily for pastors who have children in their home. Application can be made to other situations too.

Ten Practical Tips For Pastors Who Have Children

#1 – Convey your sacrificial love as often as you can… especially by spending quality time with them!

#2 – Be the best example you can be in every facet of the Christian life!

#3 – Admit when you are wrong or have blown it!

#4 – Hold your children to clear and realistic Biblical expectations and standards!

#5 – Be even keeled and not bi-polar!

#6 – Be real… not one way at church and another way at home!

#7 – Be open to their cries, concerns, and complaints!

#8 – Maintain an open door policy about EVERYTHING!

#9 – Do not alienate them when they sin! You can love and support them while not condoning their behavior.

#10 – Though you love and respect all the children in the congregation, you make sure your children know that you love them more!

Conclusion

Preachers, regardless of their particular calling, have a lot of added responsibility that other children of God do not have nor understand completely. Raising a godly generation of young people is a tall order and does not happen by accident. Preachers should do their best to balance their family and ministry. Simply put, pastors better not neglect their family!

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