Young, vibrant, excited and haven’t a clue what they are in for! This is a typical scene for pastors to encounter when they do premarital counseling. What’s worse is when you find that one of them thinks they know everything!In spite of what you face when dealing with young couples before their marriage you must do your best to instill some bits of wisdom in them. This post lists 24 suggestions for husbands that every pastor should consider addressing when premarital counseling is being done.
#1 – Love your wife and let her know it.
#2 – Be thoughtful and expressive to your wife. Bring her flowers, perfume, etc.
#3 – Be gentle in all of your dealings with your wife. Never be harsh or physically abusive.
#4 – Assume your place of leadership in the home.
#5 – Never brag excessively about another lady in the presence of your wife.
#6 – Always keep appointments with your wife.
#7 – Always come home from your work at the time expected. If this is not possible, call as soon as you can.
#8 – Hold your relationship with your wife very sacred. Do not reveal it to others. Let her know it is a very precious thing to you.
#9 – Eat out with your wife at least once a week.
#10 – Have fun with your wife. Somebody has said, “Couples that pray together, stay together.” Perhaps it should be added, “Couples that pray together and play together, stay together.”
#11 – Lead in spiritual activities. Say grace at the table. Lead in the family devotions. Come to church with your family.
#12 – Be as pleasant as possible at home.
#13 – Go shopping together. Enjoy the commonplace things of life with each other.
#14 – Never criticize her parents.
#15 – Be sure that your wife is happy with your love life.
#16 – Help her in some of the household duties.
#17 – Be interested in what your wife’s activities were for the day.
#18 – Do not take the children’s side when your wife disciplines them. Stay together on discipline.
#19 – Do not spank a child when you are angry. Simply send him to his room. Spank him privately, carefully, and prayerfully… explaining to him why.
#20 – Be sure that the degree of discipline given to a child is proportionate to the degree of guilt. In other words, when a child tells an untruth, he should be spanked harder for this than when he accidentally breaks a vase.
#21 – Be very careful with your relationship with the opposite sex. Do not place yourself in positions where temptations will arise or criticism could be given.
#22 – Usually it is best for the husband to handle the finances, giving his wife an allowance for groceries and incidentals. A little extra should be included in this allowance so that the wife will have a little spending money.
#23 – Read a good book on the home by some Christian author. Read a sensible book on marriage by some good doctor. Certainly read what the Bible has to say about marriage.
#24 – Do not be preoccupied with the duties or thoughts of duties when you are with your wife unless, of course, the duties are being performed together.
Conclusion
Premarital counseling will not prevent problems in the home, but they will help one to be better prepared. Men need all the help they can get about being a better husband. Share the 24 suggestions with them!
These suggestions have been taken from the book A Manual For Young Pastors (And Older Ones Too) by Dr. Jim Phillips. Dr. Phillips has graciously given permission for The Working Pastor to use his material. Any quotes from here need to be given to Dr. Phillips. For those who would like a copy of this book simply contact Brother Phillips: Dr. Jim Phillips – 13 Darby Hill Lane Taylors, SC 29687 or call: 864-609-9431 The book is $17.00 and $3.00 S&H.;
Would you consider purchasing…
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Family Religion: Principles for Raising a Godly Family |
By Matthew Henry / Christian Heritage
Matthew Henry’s Family Religionis a collection of his writings on the Christian family. A proponent of religious education in the home, he expounds upon ways to better your devotional, practical, and spiritual exercises. He also speaks strongly regarding the necessity, nature, efficacy and improvement of baptism. Paperback.
